Desperate Design

The timer is set. It's like some kind of 10th-grade English class exam. I have 10 minutes to write this. So, should you feel the need to get out your red pen, please take a number. I've got milk spills, booger wiping and poop-filled diapers to take care of first.

I read this story -- or rather drooled over photos and a story -- in last week's home and garden section of our paper. It was about the home of a woman who owns a shop for cute, collectible odds and ends. It must be the kind of shop I loved to visit before toting around my own demolition crew of two boys.

I was in awe and the prettiness. And then just grinning a smug grin thinking about how I traded a cute house for cute kids. Right? Just go along with this. It makes me feel a little better. Even if for just five minutes. It also inspired me to take a few photos of my own place. You know, to show you how I decorate around here.

Any collection of similar items grouped together tell a little story. This one is a story of whimsy, childhood and a mother who dreams of enjoying a stiff drink while her child colors.

Repetition is key to any good design. I love how this baby gate repeats the strong, narrow vertical lines of the staircase. And to think, it was found at Babies R Us!

It's OK to introduce new colors to a room. In this breakfast nook, a hot pink and white striped towel serve dual purposes. It looks fantastic, and it keeps milk, red sauce, cheesey goo and other shit off of the expensive, custom upholstered bench cushions mommy picked out years before children. (The validity of this claim is in question based on the grease-stained cushions, but Mom likens it to wearing an uncomfortable pair of heels with the perfect dress -- despite the pain, it makes you feel better inside.)

This is a shining example of repurposing. What once was an Easter Basket from Grandma now serves as a portable diaper changing station. It often sits on this end table atop three-year-old magazines. Amy writes, "I love being able to wipe a poopy bottom while singing the 'Dinosaur Train' theme song with my older son. Our motto is, 'We don't break for shit.'"

Know it all

I am a know-it-all. No doubt. You ask me a question, and chances are, I'll give you an answer, whether or not I know squat about your inquiry. This is a gift I rightly inherited from my father. This mom business sure makes me a bonafide know-it-all , and let me just set the record straight: I'd love to have a few moments off. Anticipating the next pee, request for a snack or when to pull out multiple milk cups because your imaginary friends are here -- not always a picnic.

Here's a little of what I know.

• I know where you are when two little feet poke out from underneath a bulging curtain and a little voice says, "Where's Jasper? Find Jasper."
• I know you don't have to poop when we sit there for 15 minutes reading yet another stinking Thomas the Train book. It's just a naptime delay.
• I know you are not really afraid of the toilet. You just like to poop in the potty chair because you think it's fun to dump poop into something.
  
• I know that touching your penis probably feels good, but for the love of Pete, let's not man-handle in public.
• I know the drink of water you request at bedtime is not a life or death situation.
  
• I know when your sick pains are a bluff. I always ask if it's your big toe nail. You undoubtedly reply yes, and for some reason, I am willing to kiss it to right your world once again.
  
• I know you will not eat the peas I put on your plate, even when I top them with olive oil and kosher salt. I also know that even though you will not eat them, you will ask me if it is kosher salt or sea salt, as if it makes a difference.
  
• I know that when I catch you playing with the hose in the backyard with soggy feet and dripping hair that the huge wet spot on your crotch has no connection to the hose other than it acting as a distraction.
• I know that you will do almost anything for a granola bar.
• I know that when you sass, mock, or otherwise push buttons, you come by it honestly with these two parents you've got. And for that, I am humbled.
  

Kid times the power of kid

My good friend Eileen has a hilarious saying. It goes something like this: "Two kids are more than double the work. It's the exponential factor. Kid times the power of kid."

So true, so true.

Carter turns 6 months old this week. I can hardly believe it and at the same time, I feel like I've been mothering two kids forever. I guess when you do something every day, all day, it's like dog years or something. Six months feels like 6 years.

Last weekend Seth was headed out on Saturday morning for a bike ride, and I was trying to do some baking and get the boys out the door to a friend's house for an Easter egg hunt. Seth brought Carter downstairs after a morning nap and placed him in the highchair in the kitchen. He smiled while I hustled around for about three minutes. And then he started crying. And then I buzzed by him and caught a whiff of a poopy diaper. I picked him up, slung him onto my hip and did a few more chores on my way up the stairs to change his diaper. When I set him down on the changing table, I realized the diaper had leaked all over him and me. I took him straight to the bathroom, holding him by his shoulders and ankles, trying hard not to get poop on anything else. Jasper waltzed into the bathroom with a muffin in hand (breaking a rule of no food upstairs, but it wasn't the time to go over rules). I asked him to help me lift Carter's bath seat into the tub. Jasper moved slowly and tried three times to hike it up over the tub wall. Then he slowly tells me he can't do it because he's holding a muffin. Trying to express my immediate needs for help, I told him to just put the darn thing down and put the seat in the tub.

He took his time, headed for the toilet (lid down, thank goodness), and set his muffin right on top of the toilet lid. Then, with great excitement he helped me get the seat in the tub where I promptly placed Carter for a hose-down. Jasper turned around, picked up the muffin, continued eating and watched me give his brother a bath.

There was a time in my life when I would have freaked out about the thought of using the toilet like the kitchen counter. It's still not appealing, but I see what kids do, and frankly, it's not the worst. There's the boogers he brings to me. And our loud conversations in the grocery store aisles about why it is inappropriate to have your hands down your pants in public -- for some reason, it gets other shoppers' attention when you say the word "penis" in the produce section. And we're potty training now, so you would be hard-pressed to surprise me when it comes to exactly where one might find pee in my house.

I love these boys. I love how much they crack me up. I love that they laugh at silly things, crave my attention, want me to play with them and snuggle close with sleepy eyes. I know it won't always be like that. But before you get the impression that I'm delusional, I should acknowledge that I am also sleep-deprived, tired of the never-ending loads of laundry, exhausted that just when you get the kitchen clean, it feels like time to cook another meal.

But I wouldn't change any of it. Even though kid times the power of kid is insane.

A few pics from recent days.

The bus is a movin'

Have you ever received a gift and then six months later realized you never sent a proper thank-you card? That's how I feel about this blog. It's there, I know it's there, I've been neglecting it, and the longer I don't touch it, the harder it gets to even think about it.

Deep breath in. Cleansing breath out. This is me releasing the guilt.

It's not as if you don't know what's going on. Most of you who stop by here are probably aware to some degree of the insanity that is our family's life. A 2 1/2 year old known as The Boy who's got the kind of independent streak that I can only pray will one day lead us to look back 40 years from now and think, "You know, it would have been hard to be this successful without being a strong-willed child." A nearly 5-month-old (The Bug) who is as sweet as can be with a smile that should be copyrighted, but, alas, we all have our faults and his seems to be spit up and skin problems. And waking several times during the night, but seriously, it seems to not be bothering anyone but me, so that counts it as a non-problem, right?

And the hubs. How do I love thee? He's got a new (but still crazy) work schedule. The upside is that we see him for dinner more nights. The downside is that now even if The Bug doesn't wake me at 4:30 am, my husband will.

We just watched "The Social Network," which I am happy to report that I have hit the point in my life where seeing a young college kid making a gazillion dollars doesn't bother me. I'm mature enough to acknowledge that I didn't just miss that boat because I wasn't in the right place at the right time. What I did take away from the movie was an amazing line about how Facebook is never done. Mark Zuckerberg's character says something like this: "It's like fashion, it's never finished."

This, my friends, is life. Well, you know, it will be finished one day, but until then, it's one wild ride. I keep thinking I'll have more time to do something another day. You know the excuse, "I was going to blah, blah, blah, but then the day just got too crazy." Well, in my world, they're all crazy. And probably not any more than any other mother's, but I manage the complaint department of my life, and some days no one will get the employee-of-the-month honor.

So today I'll use the excuse that I wrote this blog post, which is why I didn't get laundry or dinner started during naptime. Or why the living room still looks like a hurricane blew the toddler aisle of Toys R' Us right into my house. And yesterday I did this blog post, so that's what ate up that afternoon.

Life is a moving target, and if I don't get off my rear soon, I will either fall asleep or miss the opportunity to make chocolate brownies. Hey, at least I could savor a brownie while toys whiz by my head and still be considered a "fit" mom. Right?

Happy birfday!

Today is Jasper's 2nd birthday. We've been celebrating since Sunday. I think it might be a little traumatic once we stop. He is riding a new scooter, playing with new train tracks, reading new books, fixing things with his new tool set and cooking with his new kitchen gadgets.
The boy says "fickin" instead of fixing. It's hilarious. We gave him a little toy tool box for his birthday, and he's running around the house fickin everything. Too cute.

I feel so excited and proud of my little monkey. He's adorable, sweet, a daredevil and no matter how frustrated I get with him at times, I can't help but melt when he says, "Hugs."

No. 2 is due in about five weeks. I am even more tired and cranky than usual. I remember fondly when going to bed seemed like a relief. Rolling over at night is a chore all on its own. Sigh.

The name, the name, the name. We have not settled on a name for No. 2, and since we're having some troubles just deciding between the two of us, we've decided not to get anyone else involved in the conversation. We'll just say this, we will have a name picked out by the time this kid is born, and you'll know when you'll know. We could, of course, wait until I'm 10 centimeters to decide for sure. Sorry.

I've been saying that after Jasper's birthday we're just going to wind down and relax until this baby is born. Why do I fear that won't really happen?

I am thankful for some amazing fall weather right now. Despite the fact that it felt hot in our bedroom a couple of recent nights, cloudy, gray mornings giving way to beautiful blue, sunny afternoons aren't all that bad.

I am also thankful for some amazing friends. They lift my spirits when things get crazy. I am a lucky woman to have so many great women in my life.

I need to get our guest room (aka junk room) cleaned up and ready for visits from grandmas. Oh, and I guess we better get that crib put together, too!

I scream, he screams, we all scream for...

I am expecting a slight bit of insanity as this week rolls on with a huge job finishing up on Sunday.

I am so excited about next Monday. I have nothing to do!

Jasper's latest antics include thinking just about everything in our house is a ladder. He is constantly talking about climbing ladders. This includes the bed, chairs, benches, shelves and drawer pulls. He is also still fascinated with his diaper, taking it off, pulling it out of place even with clothes on and such, but I'll keep this post as positive as possible!

And... making us think twice about taking him out in public when he belts out a high-pitched scream because he's being restrained (in a shopping cart, stroller, etc.) when he doesn't want to be. This includes the car seat. It is a battle that seriously makes me think twice about going to the grocery store. I certainly limit trips in and out of the car. Every time we get in or out, we have the tantrum about how he wants to drive the car. Seriously, someone tell me this won't last until he's 16!

I am thankful for my husband who is managing to stand by me during this crazy period where I'm very stressed with work and getting very pregnant by the day. And constantly chasing a nearly-2-year-old. If all that doesn't make for a crazy mama, I don't know what would do it!

On the baby front, I'm 30 weeks this week. Feels like a big milestone, 3/4 of the way through, and the we-could-go-anytime date seems closer than I realize. I'm excited except for the fact that I know I'll be sleeping a lot less after the little one is here!

I am hopeful that I can keep my pledge to make no major commitments after this Sunday. Seth is asking that I put it in writing.

Jasper is cute when he eats ice cream. He's recently learned about dessert. He's, of course, eaten sweets for some time now, but now he gets it that he can ask for dessert, meaning cookies, cakes, ice cream and such. He calls it "ice cream truck." He's never eaten a treat from an ice cream truck, but we have several books that include ice cream trucks. Combine that with a boy's fascination with trucks, and you have "ice cream truck." Adorable. Here's a pic of him enjoying some chocolate ice cream tonight.

Another attempt

In an attempt to make blogging a bit easier and still satisfy the itch for my far-flung family to see pictures of our growing family, I am taking a stab at a new approach to this blog.

We'll see how far I get. I'm not setting any rules about how often I post because I find that intimidating enough with my other blog. Plus, my life seems to be getting busier by the second.

Here goes.

This week I am the lead volunteer organizing my annual neighborhood picnic. It's quite a chore, and, while I truly believe in serving your community, I will be relieved when the event is over.

I am anticipating some stress. I've got a massive work gig next week that is going to wipe me out.

I am looking forward to the months of September and October. No commitments, baby.

Jasper's latest antics include rearranging his diaper (or the body parts therein) during nearly every sleep time (night and naps). This means he most often he wakes up with wet clothes and wet bed. Call me the laundry queen.

Jasper's latest success would have to be going to sleep in his big boy bed without crying, although he might say it was "driving" a real fire truck at a festival over the weekend.

I am thankful for my mom. I never knew how hard this job was. Oh, and I'm also thankful for the energy I have despite being 29 weeks pregnant.

I am proud of the painting I just finished for Jasper's room. It's two panels that depict a scene from a book we found at the library of a little boy and a fire truck.

And a few pics.

Found him like this after nap today. He'd taken his diaper off, thrown it on the floor and tried to put his shorts back on. Trouble was he put both feet in one leg of his shorts.

Jasper and cousins Sophie and Lily on our trip to OK.

Jasper driving the boat with Papa!

Just chillin', folks.

Playing in the water at Lake Eufala.

Jasper and Sophie sleeping on the boat ride home.

Papa, Great Mom & Pop, Dad & Jasper hanging out in my parents' back yard on the swing set from my grandparents' home.

Jasper gives Baby Brother a raspberry on my tummy.

Jasper feeding baby. This is a new thing. Very funny.

A recent visit to the NW from Carrie and her crew. Here are Jasper, Emily & Jax.

The painting for Jasper's new room.