A Day's Work: Calf Roping and Rodeo Clowning

I'm thinking of joining the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association.

The PRCA, as it's known to those in Wranglers and ultra-stiff cowboy hats, isn't for the weak, but neither is motherhood. I'm thinking with a little more practice I could be quite good at calf roping. As a kid I got my horseback training riding a crazy Arabian named Feather who was known for his bucking rants and spooking streaks. I'm pretty sure everyone who rode him got thrown at least once.

And now, Jasper is teaching me the finer points of catch and tie, or, in his case, diaper swap. A couple of weeks ago he took a liking to playing (ie. throwing, licking, crinkling) with diapers (don't worry, they were clean), so I removed them from the lower shelf of his changing table and placed them up top. Changing him on the changing table was becoming a joke, so now the pad lives on the floor, and that's where we begin the drill.

Plopping him down on his back is like the opening of the chute. All of the sudden it's a race between the two of us. I make a break to pull his pants off before he makes his initial flip. Then, I grab is tiny barrel of a chest and flip him to his back, grab his legs, pull 'em up high, slip the clean diaper under his bum and, try my damnedest to get the old diaper off and butt wiped before he flips again. As you may have guessed, the event gets more challenging based on what exactly is in the diaper -- when it's really messy, it's as if you've gone from saddle club to the PRCA finals in Las Vegas. The stakes are higher because mastering the wipe and change, or tie-down, is a matter of mess. A bare poopy butt on the move is a disaster even the pros don't want to wrestle.

We'll give extra points for moms who are able to keep baby's hands out of the "diaper area" as its known in our field.

I think even if I can't cut it in the calf-roping arena, there's still the job of rodeo clown. And maybe that description fits us mommies even better: The under appreciated rodeo clown wears baggy clothes and make-up that appears to be applied while driving in a sleepy haze. Pockets are a necessity to carry around those hankies to throw at a moment's notice. When a cowboy is in danger, the clown's job is to get between him and the bull. Not only is the job to distract the bull, but the clown is the distraction. And a good day's work means no one got seriously hurt. It's OK that the cowboy gets the prize because the clowns aren't in it for the glory. We've come to like the job of keeping everyone else safe and happy. Besides, when you're in the arena with the bull, it's not like you have a choice, right?

Now if we could just see about getting those barrels for hiding when the bull is too much to handle.