Feeling Good Underneath

I once heard on Oprah that every woman should wear matching lingerie. As in a bra and panties that match. Every. Day.

Really? It's supposed to make you feel better about yourself. Much of the past year and a half of my life, I've been wearing one of two bras, and the underwear, thankfully, haven't been maternity for several months. If there is one word to describe my undergarments of late, it is not sexy or even flattering for that matter. Utilitarian is more like it. They're frayed, rumpled and over-stretched. So, since Jasper is now officially weaned from breast feeding I decided maybe it was time to update my underwear. (If this were Facebook, Seth would click "Like" beside this sentence, giving it the thumbs up.)

To celebrate I went to Nordstrom. I know, it's not really my speed. I felt like a total loser in my jeans, T-shirt and Converse browsing through the lingerie department. Yes, I could have gone somewhere cheaper, but I'd heard amazing things about shopping for bras at Nordstrom, and I wanted to check it out. I needed serious shopping and no distractions of teenagers plucking through hot pink thongs at a back-to-school sale.

A young clerk who seemed far too hip to sell grandma's nightshirts offered to help. A reassuring sign, I thought. She politely listened to me explain how a pregnancy and nearly a year of nursing had left me clueless to my bra size. And then it began. She measured me, fitted me and began bringing me more pretty bras and panties than I'd ever had in my own dresser. I told her that the leopard print and hot pink weren't my style, and I prayed she didn't notice my tattered pink Xhilaration bra from Target crumpled on the dressing room stool.

In the end, I came home with two new bras. I almost asked to wear one out of the store, like you can do with shoes, but I thought that might make me look a little too pathetic. After all, she was giving me bra advice that sounded like a mother-daughter conversation from another era. She told me that a woman really needed at least four bras in her rotation, so that each one had proper time to rest before the next wearing. That way, she said, the elastic will last longer. I had no idea there was a science as to which bra to wear on which day. Don't tell, but I also stopped using a lingerie bag for laundry a long time ago, too. And, I use regular laundry soap. Gasp!

I spent more money than I thought possible on bras, and I didn't even buy the most expensive ones they had. I've done a double take while I passing by a mirror today. Of course, the pretty bra is hidden under my tattered "Goonies" T-shirt that I'm pretty sure most of my neighborhood thinks must be one of three shirts I own. But I can see that pretty bra working. I've got a bit more shape, sure, I mean, how can you get less shape than a nursing bra, that, while comfortable, comes only in sizes S, M, L and XL? But I do feel good about it, too.

My sneakers are stained with red sauce, my capri-cut off Levis have frayed hems and my short hair is falling from the pony tail I try to pull together. And today I've got a few snot trails on my jeans thanks to Jasper, and the quick makeup job of mascara and powder. But the best part is that I feel pretty good knowing what I've got on underneath all of this.

I'm pretty sure that when Jasper starts crying, throwing a tantrum because I will not let him climb up the steps for the 300th time, I won't have some zen feeling come over me just because of some lace and elastic. It's not that kind of feel good. I feel just a little less frumpy. Even if you couldn't tell from the outside.

Rookie Mom Mistake: Getting rid of heartburn is not worth being sleepy all day, so drink the coffee with caffeine and pop a Tums later.