Dirty Jobs

You know that guy who does that show "Dirty Jobs" on the Discovery Chanel? Well, I think he should come to my house, or some mother's house for his next show.

It's 10:30 a.m., and I guess you could say I've been on the job since 5 a.m. (I mean, technically it's been a straight 4 months and one day). I have been puked on and pooped on. Twice (the poop, not the puke; and to all of you non-parents, this is good news because poop is normal, vomit is not.). And just to be clear, we are talking vomit, not spit up. I had on jeans and had to change my underwear. Puke.

The good news is that the vomit was just a reaction to a medicine, so I don't have a sick baby.

Brings new meaning to "How was your day, honey?"

4 Months!

Today Jasper turned 4 months old. Wow. Time flies. He had his 4-month checkup today as well. Here are the stats. We'll keep this positive today, and not dwell on naps and diaper blowouts -- just look at his smile!


Age: Four months
Weight: 15 pounds, 1 ounce
Length: 25.5 inches
Percentile: 30th. That's up from 7th percentile at 2 months. Yeah!
Size: We're out of 3-month clothes and finding 6-month stuff fitting a bit better.
Likes: LOVES links, learning how to play in our new bouncy toy, babbling at all hours, kisses from Wiley, Mom singing songs to me, when Mom gets down on the floor with me for tummy time, looking at myself in the mirror, sleeping with my legs propped up on the side of the crib (that's what I call kickin' back)
Dislikes: Nap time, medicine that tastes yucky
Tricks: Grabbing at toys and trying to move toward them, practicing rolling onto my tummy, putting everything in my mouth, standing with mom, laughing with Mom, grabbing handfuls of Mom's hair and Dad's beard
If I could talk I'd say: "Mom, naps are for babies."
My social calendar: This week I was covered in toys at the Hovde House playing with Luke and Jonah. Big boys are so much fun! I also enjoyed a long ride in the stroller with Bailey while our moms took a walk. I think I might get to meet Sam this weekend.

A few more pics from today:

Sleep like a baby

I am so tired of being the Nap Nazi.

Jasper sleeps pretty well most nights. I feel pretty lucky about that. Bedtime routine starts at 6. Down by 7. Up at 11 to top the tank and down again until about 5:30. Then back to bed again until about 7. The crazy thing about this is that (for the most part) he goes down easily at all of these times. He may babble for a minute or two, but then he usually drifts off to sleep on his own. In sleep-speak, I'd say he's quite the self soother at night.

Come day, though, the boy takes on a different tone. Getting him to sleep during the day has basically become my full-time job. We schedule outings and walks around our ability to be home for his nap (or attempted nap, which is usually the case).

I have read the books -- "Babywise," "Healthy Sleep Habits..." and "The No-Cry Nap Solution." They all offer great tips and things that sound reasonable. I have tried many things. I've placed him in the crib drifting but with eyes open. I've place him in there with eyes closed after a few minutes of snooze. I've put the heating pad in his crib for a few minutes to warm the bed (yes, I remove it and make sure it's not too hot before putting him to bed). I've offered him a lovey (technical term for stuffed animal). I've sang and sang and sang to him. I've softly jiggled him. I've let him cry and cry. I've replaced a missing binky. I've swaddled; I've read; and I've even hurt my back bending over to shhh him cheek to cheek.

The magic is me, but it's just a little closer than I'd like. He will nap contentedly right in my arms. For two hours.

Aside from being tired of being tired, I am most tired of people telling me that if he sleeps well at night, I shouldn't complain. This is ludicrous. Babies need naps. Big kids need naps, and more than an adult or two would do better with a nap. Babies simply cannot stay awake like us adults can. And the bummer is that no matter how hard you try, you cannot convince them of this precious knowledge you hold. I do believe pretty strongly that a lot of the Nap Magic happens by catching the little ones at just the right time. About once every two to three weeks we get it right, and Jasper welcomes the nap.

Most days, however, it's a battle. Today I spent two hours repeating this cycle: rock baby until sleepy; sing and bounce over to crib; sing and swing sleepy baby over crib (which is warm thanks to the heating pad); still singing, gently place baby in crib, leaving one hand on his chest and the other near his head; still singing slightly jiggle baby's chest; baby's eyes wide open now, mom still singing; mom walks away.

Jasper will spend about five minutes rolling around or babbling. Then he'll either continue this content (but awake) routine for as much as an hour, or he'll start to cry and eventually get himself so worked up that he cannot breath through his runny nose and red splotches cover his face.

After two hours of attempts today, I let him sleep for an hour and a half in my arms. I feel this is my last resort because if he won't nap, he's completely miserable for the rest of the day. And since I spent my day tied to Jasper, like most days, it's now 7 o'clock and I'll finally start to pick up the house, unload the dishwasher and cook dinner.

What I always find ironic is that all of these things I do to try to get him to sleep make me tired. I'll catch myself drifting off in the rocker or sitting in the chair next to his crib. Isn't it funny that I so desperately want sleep, and my little guy just resists it with all his might?

That's motherhood, I guess. And tomorrow, we'll get up and do it all over again!

Good Day

Today I took Jasper down to the river for a walk. The sun has been shining for several days in a row now, so we better soak it up because it will soon go away, reminding that we are still in the dead of winter. It was beautiful outside, and Jasper stayed awake the entire walk. He didn't so much soak up the scenery as he played with his hands and his pacifier. He loves pulling it out and then trying to put it back in -- backwards, sideways, upside down.

On our walk we had a very fun surprise. At the end of the trail is a statue in honor of the women who worked in the Kaiser Shipyards during World War II. I've seen the statue a few times, but I hadn't been there since May when I was just starting to get a baby bump. So, I thought I'd take Jasper down to see the piece that honors women like his great-great Grandma Peach. I was so delighted when I found that the installation had been completed. Not only is the statue now in its permanent spot, but there are three stones surrounding it with the names of some of those shipyard workers. My family made a donation to the memorial and were able to get her name on it. It means so much to me, to the journey that has brought me here to where my little family now calls home. I hate being so far away from the rest of our family, but for some reason it makes me feel a little less homesick when I'm reminded that I wasn't the first person in my family to make it out to the Northwest.

Here's a few pics. And thanks to nice people who took the good photos with both of us in them. And speaking of nice people, the name just under Peach's, Lucille Zgonc, is my neighbor. She's lived on my block since the 1940s.

Inauguration Day

Oh, happy day.

Jasper is too young to remember today, but I do hope that it's a day he certainly knows about. He's sitting in his bouncy toy while I'm watching Barack Obama's inauguration on TV. It makes me think about what I knew or thought of presidents when I was young.

I remember being in the living room as President Reagan gave a State of the Union address. I was bored and my dad was glued to the TV, asking me to be quiet, I'd guess. I also remember going with my parents to vote. We waited in a very long line for what seemed to be a very long time. I can't quite place how old I was, but it was either Reagan's second run or the elder Bush's first. I knew very little about politics except I knew my family was Republican. I had no idea what that meant, and aside from election day hubbub, I have very little recollection of politics even as a topic of conversation.

Seth and I have a lithograph of Obama on the wall of our den. It makes me wonder what Jasper may remember about presidents and politics from his childhood. I hope he knows that he was born on the cusp of a monumental era in American history. And I hope he'll know that not because we discuss it over flash cards or memory games. I hope he'll know it because it will remain a big deal. Because from today forward, no matter the political landscape, we will have respect for what's happening today. And most importantly, I hope that in our future, a person of color or a woman running for president of our country or the local bank wouldn't be the exception but the rule.

Who knows what the Obama era will bring. In this time of war, a crushing economy and constant reminders that if America is to remain a world leader we need to change our ways, we need and so desperately want a president to believe in. In this country -- at least in my lifetime -- we've operated on a motto that tomorrow will always be better than today. Whether that comes from truth or mere aspiration, I do hope, for my son, at least a kernel of that holds true.

Let's have a little faith that Obama will help propel this country through the tough times. And just like life, we can't expect radical change all at once. But as we cultivate experience, laugh and cry, we'll learn from our successes and failures. We mustn't settle for the standard; we must expect even more. That's what makes tomorrow better than today.

My grandmother, Mom, has a favorite saying from Winston Churchill: "Never, never, never, never give up." I'm going to keep that quote close to me whether I'm thinking about heavy issues or the daily grind. After listening to Obama's speech, I think that's what he was saying, too. The road ahead will not always be easy, but it is passable. As Obama said, we'll be judged by what we build, not what we destroy.

Today I have a pride for America that I haven't felt before. Maybe it's because I'm now the parent watching the president on TV. Maybe it's because this perfect storm that's been building over us has bred a drive to grasp at optimism. Whatever it is, I'm proud to raise a child in what I hope will be a time of prosperity for people.

The Rev. Joseph Lowery, who delivered today's benediction, said it best:

I'm equally certain that we will continue to pray for justice to roll down as waters, and for that day when there will be peace in the valley, and for that day when every man and every woman will sit under his or her own vine and fig tree and none will be afraid, and for that day when black will not be asked to get back, brown can stick around, yellow will be mellow, the red man can get ahead, man, and white will embrace what is right! Amen!

My Brown-Eyed Boy

My brown-eyed boy has pink eye. And a cold. Poor guy.

Took him to the doctor this afternoon, and even she commented on how much he's had going on lately. He just can't seem to catch a break.

We're just treating the cold like we have been, and we've got some medicine for his eye. Mom still feels yucky, but I seem to not be thinking about my own sniffles at the moment.

Mother Nature

I am convinced that Mother Nature may not have ever been a mother at all. The title suggests that she is loving, understanding and all-knowing. OK, I may be letting this mother status go to my head, but keep reading.

If she really was a mother, wouldn't she give the rest of us in her club a little break once in a while? Like, say, tribal immunity from sickness? At the very least she could let our illnesses line up with Daddy's time off or even his weekend. Or not coincide with baby's illnesses. Come on, give me a little credit for my role in that whole miracle-of-life bit.

I have stopped denying that I am indeed sick. I thought that wishing it away may work. The pounding in my head, ringing in my ears and scratching in my throat were all very real signs telling me I was officially under the weather this morning. But enough about me, my baby is sick, too. His little pug nose is so stuffy with yucky junk that he's had trouble sleeping and eating. And this morning his little eyes were watery and filled with goop. He's being a trooper, though, and keeping his spirits up despite his first cold.

In one last ditch effort to give Mother Nature a chance to prove herself, I'll have a little faith that this will be short-lived, and we'll be feeling better by the weekend.

If that doesn't work, I expect to see Spring here sooner to make up for this!

Stuffy noses and silly toys

Jasper slept better last night. Seth has still got a cough but seems to be on the mend. I woke up with a sore throat and am praying I am not getting the ick.

I bought a humidifier yesterday and put it in Jasper's room last night. He was still stuffy when he went to bed and woke up with boogers around his nose, but the poor guy could breath better and that meant more sleep. He doesn't have a fever and aside from sleeping, he seems to be feeling just fine. I'm thinking he's not sick; maybe he just had some nose problems from the dry air.

Here's a fun pic from this morning. This gigantic bouncy toy was a Christmas present. He's still a bit small for it, but he's enjoying a couple of minutes of time with it here and there. He really loves the frog and already seems to get it that he can make it move. While watching it the other day, we're pretty sure he made the first official sound I'd call a laugh.

This next pic is of him in his Bumbo. Yes, it's pink. Janet asked if we'd gotten it from a friend who had a girl. Nope. It's brand new. I was having a mommy moment when I bought it, and for reasons that seem too complicated to explain, I thought it was a green seat. It's pink. And Seth threw the box away. So, Jasper has a pink seat. We were thinking that this was a good test of our strength as parents. We know full well that the color of the seat makes absolutely no difference to him. So, we're bucking the trend and letting our little bundle of boy enjoy his new, pink chair. We think it's pretty funny. He seems to like it although he's now got to learn how to bring a toy to his mouth when gravity isn't on his side.

Half Done

Why is it that everything in my world is half done?

A look around my house shows that while I got the Christmas decorations finally put away, my living room furniture is still askew and the piles of lights are waiting for the OK to officially become part of the room's decor.

The door to the dryer is halfway open. A pile of baby clothes, sheets and blankets spilling into a heaping mound that cascades from the dryer door to the basket below. The breakfast dishes were put away, but now the starts of dinner are filling the sink again. Our bed has fresh sheets, but remains unmade because I decided to wash the duvet cover. Not sure when the whole thing will get put back together again.

I know the reason, so I guess that makes my opener a rhetorical question. My brain is so scattered that as soon as I get the brilliant idea to start something I get sidetracked with a baby duty. Jasper has had two rough nights in a row. That means I've had two horrible nights in a row. This is how bad it was: This morning I said to Seth, "Last night was better. He only woke up every hour."

Worried about our kids getting ADD? I'm pretty sure I have it. I cannot focus on a task long enough to finish. I feel anxious about all of the things I need to do, but yet when I get a moment, I cannot think of one of them.

There was more I was going to say, but ...

For Real

Yesterday I officially quit my old job. It was something that I was really nervous about, but when it came down to it, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I think my employer might have actually been somewhat relieved since they (along with just about everyone else) are struggling in this lagging economy.

On my way home, I felt good. Like a weight had been lifted. I'd been dreading the conversation for a few weeks. I think it was mostly about me officially saying I was going to be a stay-at-home mommy. I remember having a slight sense of remorse when I left journalism, and I think this was similar. It's pretty normal for so much of our identity to be wrapped up in our professional lives. I felt like I was giving up that sense of who I was. What I'm learning is that I now have to redefine and rediscover who I am now. Perhaps that's what's scary. It's new. It's different. I set the rules instead of working from someone else's agenda. I saw recently on Oprah (There. I admitted it. I. Watch. Oprah. And love it, by the way.) author Elizabeth Lesser say that no matter what your job is -- be it a full-time mom, a plumber or an attorney -- you must find what you do fulfilling. If you don't, she says, you cannot be happy spiritually. I think there's a lot of truth in that. Yet when we search for jobs, we often think about money, commutes and our professional track before we ever ask ourselves whether the job would be fulfilling. Of course, there are the confines of reality such as paying the rent or the mortgage, but guess what, everyone has those things. So I feel there must be a way to make those things meet so that whatever fills the majority of our waking hours should be something that makes us a better person, right?

I'm going to put a little faith in that and plunge ahead in this new role. And since it's a new year, here are a few things I'm going to make an effort to do to improve myself. That, I hope, will make me better at my job and give me the ability to enjoy life in a completely new way.

- Have the confidence to speak with conviction.
- Understand that life's not a race, a beauty contest or show-and-tell.
- Be a better friend and family member.
- Recognize my strengths, recognize my weaknesses, and love myself anyways.
- Listen more.
- Take care of myself, so that I can be the mother, friend and family member I want to be.

Stats

Age: Three months, nine days
Weight: 13 pounds, 10 ounces
Length: 25 inches
Size: 3 to 6 months, although some brands are too short in the torso already!
Likes: Links, bath time, crinkle chicken, singing with Mom, rough play with Dad, napping in Mom's arms, smiling and cooing
Dislikes: Nap time without Mom, sleeping without being swaddled, gas bubbles in my tummy, Mom on the computer
Tricks: Bringing hands together, grasping toys, bringing hands and toys to mouth, turning my head to voices, sitting up with support, rolling onto my side and an accidental tumble onto my tummy from my back, coo back and forth with Mom, lifting my head and shoulders for a good amount of time when on my tummy
If I could talk I'd say: "Mom, why don't you like to play with me at 4 a.m.?"

Back to work

Over the weekend I heard several people remark how they dreaded going back to work on
Monday. The high of the holidays is gone, and the reality of the daily grind is staring us down. I wanted to feel something. But nada. What day was it again?

Well that was Sunday. Today, Monday, it was back to the grind for me. Seth is sick, and I had to take Jasper to the doctor for an ongoing problem that combines spit up and mucus. I'll just leave it at that. Jasper is OK, and we're just keeping an eye on the problem. If it persists, we could wind up with a trip to an ENT. The poor guy already saw a surgeon a couple of weeks ago to have a staph infection on his bum lanced. I'm hoping this one turns out to be nothing serious.

So this afternoon I had a crying baby who couldn't seem to stay asleep long enough to get any productive rest. After a rough afternoon, we took a bath together. As Seth asked, "Was that relaxing for you?" My response was that it wasn't like I was in there with bubbles, a glass of wine and candles. I was merely sitting in the tub with him in his bath seat playing with him. It did seem to do the trick. He was happy playing with his links in the water and after the bath he was chatting and smiling away.

The first picture is of Jasper just after his bath. He's got a funny 'fro thing going on with his hair after a bath. He got tons of toys for Christmas, but these little links are turning into a favorite. The second picture is just before bed. We read a few stories including his favorite author (OK, I've decided it's my favorite children's author), Sandra Boynton. Her funny stories have a sing-song rhythm to them that's just a hoot to read.



After Jasper went to bed, we ate leftover chicken noodle soup, and we're nursing Seth's cold with hot tea, cold medicine and a heavy dose of the whines. At this point I'm just praying I don't get sick, too. It certainly was a Monday -- even in my world!

Today I learned

With a baby, every day is a learning experience, and I'm not just talking about Jasper.

Today I learned an important lesson: When a diaper change requires wipes before you remove the diaper, the baby should just be taken straight to the tub. For the second day in a row, Jasper managed to do his business outside of his diaper. I have no idea how these things happen to a little guy who's restricted to laying on his back. The good news this event was inspiration for cleaning the bathroom, tub and all! This genuinely was good, as it hadn't been cleaned since my mom so graciously gave it a scrub when she visited after the little guy was born. And continuing my domestic duties, of course I also had to do a load of laundry.

Since we were unexpectedly traveling on Christmas, we finally had our gift exchange on New Year's Day. For the first time, Seth and I did not exchange gifts. Instead we got a few toys and a book for Jasper. To make the morning a bit more Christmaslike, I put on our holiday playlist and made our traditional holiday breakfast of Quiche Lorraine. The other major change this holiday was the parental obligation to document the entire thing.

Here's a few pics of Jasper -- one with his stocking and another with his new toys. He loves this worm-like stuffed toy. Thanks, Kazoodles for the great selection so close to home!