Sleep like a baby

I am so tired of being the Nap Nazi.

Jasper sleeps pretty well most nights. I feel pretty lucky about that. Bedtime routine starts at 6. Down by 7. Up at 11 to top the tank and down again until about 5:30. Then back to bed again until about 7. The crazy thing about this is that (for the most part) he goes down easily at all of these times. He may babble for a minute or two, but then he usually drifts off to sleep on his own. In sleep-speak, I'd say he's quite the self soother at night.

Come day, though, the boy takes on a different tone. Getting him to sleep during the day has basically become my full-time job. We schedule outings and walks around our ability to be home for his nap (or attempted nap, which is usually the case).

I have read the books -- "Babywise," "Healthy Sleep Habits..." and "The No-Cry Nap Solution." They all offer great tips and things that sound reasonable. I have tried many things. I've placed him in the crib drifting but with eyes open. I've place him in there with eyes closed after a few minutes of snooze. I've put the heating pad in his crib for a few minutes to warm the bed (yes, I remove it and make sure it's not too hot before putting him to bed). I've offered him a lovey (technical term for stuffed animal). I've sang and sang and sang to him. I've softly jiggled him. I've let him cry and cry. I've replaced a missing binky. I've swaddled; I've read; and I've even hurt my back bending over to shhh him cheek to cheek.

The magic is me, but it's just a little closer than I'd like. He will nap contentedly right in my arms. For two hours.

Aside from being tired of being tired, I am most tired of people telling me that if he sleeps well at night, I shouldn't complain. This is ludicrous. Babies need naps. Big kids need naps, and more than an adult or two would do better with a nap. Babies simply cannot stay awake like us adults can. And the bummer is that no matter how hard you try, you cannot convince them of this precious knowledge you hold. I do believe pretty strongly that a lot of the Nap Magic happens by catching the little ones at just the right time. About once every two to three weeks we get it right, and Jasper welcomes the nap.

Most days, however, it's a battle. Today I spent two hours repeating this cycle: rock baby until sleepy; sing and bounce over to crib; sing and swing sleepy baby over crib (which is warm thanks to the heating pad); still singing, gently place baby in crib, leaving one hand on his chest and the other near his head; still singing slightly jiggle baby's chest; baby's eyes wide open now, mom still singing; mom walks away.

Jasper will spend about five minutes rolling around or babbling. Then he'll either continue this content (but awake) routine for as much as an hour, or he'll start to cry and eventually get himself so worked up that he cannot breath through his runny nose and red splotches cover his face.

After two hours of attempts today, I let him sleep for an hour and a half in my arms. I feel this is my last resort because if he won't nap, he's completely miserable for the rest of the day. And since I spent my day tied to Jasper, like most days, it's now 7 o'clock and I'll finally start to pick up the house, unload the dishwasher and cook dinner.

What I always find ironic is that all of these things I do to try to get him to sleep make me tired. I'll catch myself drifting off in the rocker or sitting in the chair next to his crib. Isn't it funny that I so desperately want sleep, and my little guy just resists it with all his might?

That's motherhood, I guess. And tomorrow, we'll get up and do it all over again!