For Real

Yesterday I officially quit my old job. It was something that I was really nervous about, but when it came down to it, it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I think my employer might have actually been somewhat relieved since they (along with just about everyone else) are struggling in this lagging economy.

On my way home, I felt good. Like a weight had been lifted. I'd been dreading the conversation for a few weeks. I think it was mostly about me officially saying I was going to be a stay-at-home mommy. I remember having a slight sense of remorse when I left journalism, and I think this was similar. It's pretty normal for so much of our identity to be wrapped up in our professional lives. I felt like I was giving up that sense of who I was. What I'm learning is that I now have to redefine and rediscover who I am now. Perhaps that's what's scary. It's new. It's different. I set the rules instead of working from someone else's agenda. I saw recently on Oprah (There. I admitted it. I. Watch. Oprah. And love it, by the way.) author Elizabeth Lesser say that no matter what your job is -- be it a full-time mom, a plumber or an attorney -- you must find what you do fulfilling. If you don't, she says, you cannot be happy spiritually. I think there's a lot of truth in that. Yet when we search for jobs, we often think about money, commutes and our professional track before we ever ask ourselves whether the job would be fulfilling. Of course, there are the confines of reality such as paying the rent or the mortgage, but guess what, everyone has those things. So I feel there must be a way to make those things meet so that whatever fills the majority of our waking hours should be something that makes us a better person, right?

I'm going to put a little faith in that and plunge ahead in this new role. And since it's a new year, here are a few things I'm going to make an effort to do to improve myself. That, I hope, will make me better at my job and give me the ability to enjoy life in a completely new way.

- Have the confidence to speak with conviction.
- Understand that life's not a race, a beauty contest or show-and-tell.
- Be a better friend and family member.
- Recognize my strengths, recognize my weaknesses, and love myself anyways.
- Listen more.
- Take care of myself, so that I can be the mother, friend and family member I want to be.